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Wedding Invitation Etiquette

 Photo by Charmaine Mallari

 

If you've even dipped your toe into wedding planning, you know: there is a whole world of etiquette to weddings. Your wedding invitations are no exception.

 

I've rounded up the top five wedding invitations etiquette points that you need to know before sending your invites.

 

RULE #1

Don't put your registry information on your invitation

 

I totally get how this one could be confusing. You're registered at three different places, and how will your guests get that information anyway? Not from your invitation!

 

Wedding registry information on your invitations, save the dates, RSVP, or anywhere in your invitation suite is considered tacky because it looks like you're asking for gifts. 

 

So, where do people find your registry information? You can put it on your wedding website. Otherwise, if guests want to buy you a gift, they can ask your family members, bridal party, or the organizers of your bridal shower.

 

RULE #2

Plus ones are up to you

 

Some people assume that if you give a plus one to some guests, you have to give them across the board, but that's not true! It's your wedding, and you can manage your guest list however you'd like.

 

If you know a guest has been in a committed relationship for a while, it might be a good idea to add a plus one to their wedding invitation. If they're single, and you're trying to cut down your guest list, feel free to invite them solo.

 

RULE #3

You don't NEED an RSVP card, but...

 

Some brides nowadays are opting for a wedding website in absence of a formal RSVP card. The benefits here are twofold: you save money, and you save the time of logging all your RSVP cards into a spreadsheet since the website should do all of that for you.

 

This is totally ok and etiquette accepted nowadays. However, if you have some guests on your list who don't use computers (usually the elderly), you'll want to include a paper RSVP in their wedding invitation. Usually, wedding invitation designers will have a minimum for each piece (mine is 25) that accounts for the design time involved, so it might cost you. 

 

RULE #4

No need to indicate who's paying for the wedding, unless...

 

Traditionally, wedding invitations would be worded as follows: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith request the honour of your presence at the wedding of their daughter Ann Smith to John Doe son of Mr. and Mrs. Doe." The people who are footing the bill are clearly acknowledged (the bride's parents in this case) as hosts. 

 

Nowadays, wedding invitations worded in this way are rare, so you don't need to follow this wording pattern. That is, unless the payer would be offended by not being acknowledged, or they've specifically requested acknowledgement. The last thing you want to do is to offend the person paying for your wedding right off the bat. 

 

RULE #5

If you don't want children at your wedding, don't list them on the envelope

 

Simply list "Dr. and Mrs. Jackson" on the outer envelope of your wedding invitation. Most savvy people will understand that's their cue to hire a babysitter for that night.

 

Unfortunately, some people won't get the message, so feel free to restate this on your wedding website by putting "This event is for adults only" or some equivalent on the RSVP section of your site. 

 

I could go on and on with this topic, but for now I'll save it for another post. Wedding invitation etiquette sets the tone for your wedding and shows that you know what you're doing in this whole wedding planning process. 

 

Once you've got your etiquette standards down pat, you'll need to know your timeline for sending out your invites (and save the dates, if you're doing them)

 

Happy Planning!

 

 

 

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Photo by Charmaine Mallari